UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES by C. Rosalind Bell<\/b><\/p>\n
Setting: The play takes place in two locales in: Tacoma, Washington and New Orleans.The stage is split down the middle representing either city.<\/i><\/p>\n
Characters:
\nJosephine Cohen<\/b>: 45-55 yr old Southern Jewish American author of mid-list fiction. Tightly wound, acerbic, big hair (70s style), small physical frame, allergic to everything, afraid to gain a pound, when aggrieved holds grudges with a vengeance. And friend and mentor to…<\/p>\n
Amanda Brown<\/b>: 35-45 yr old African American writer\/chef seeking a publisher for her short stories.\u00a0 Easy going, friendly, loves everybody,brown-skin, modern dress\/look, into forgiveness, fondness for feng shui or any so-called life- enhancing trend. Inventive cook<\/p>\n
Josephine lives in New Orleans, Amanda used to but moved to Tacoma a few years before.<\/p>\n
ACT I<\/p>\n
Scene 1<\/p>\n
Lights up on AMANDA\u2019S Tacoma house. There is a knock at the door. She answers it, looks down to see a small package. She picks it up smiling, brings it indoors.\u00a0 While unwrapping it, all giddy, she dials her friend, JOSEPHINE.<\/i><\/p>\n
Lights up on JOSEPHINE\u2019S New Orleans home.<\/i><\/p>\n
\u00a0AMANDA has unwrapped a book.\u00a0<\/i><\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Guess what I\u2019m holding in my hand?! Guess what I\u2019m holding in my hand?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
So the mail does get out to the hinterlands at decent intervals.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
My hinterlands will beat your backwater any day. Come on guess.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh, I don\u2019t know\u2026a man? Six foot two with\u2026<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
eyes period. I wouldn\u2019t be on the phone with you I can tell you that.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Umm\u2026let me see.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Ask me if it\u2019s bigger than a bread basket.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Who are you, Art Linkletter? You\u2019re not old enough to know.. I don\u2019t understand your proclivity toward\u2026<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
It\u2019s called cable…and then there\u2019s this truly spectacular invention called the internet.\u00a0 No separation of the ages. Shhh it\u2019s a secret.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
So you got it, huh? Whadda you think? Frankly, my stomach burns every time I glance at the cover.\u00a0 Of course those fucking bastards in the PR department didn\u2019t listen to me\u2026I mean who the hell am I?\u00a0 Just the goddamn writer that\u2019s all! Fucking twits. Did you see the cover?\u2026 Jackson Pollack on steroids. The PR people are younger than you are! Pierson! Turn it down or turn it off! I mean what do splotches have to do with my book, I asked the underage bimbo \u2026probably the sex slave of my new editor\u2026she gives me some retarded shit about they were not splotches but were symbols emblematic of the vitriolic spewing of the main character and were artistically rendered expressions of the detritus that remains on a surface after a sneeze. My book is titled COUGH not SNOT you \u00a0 fucking idiot!\u00a0 Excuse me a minute, Amanda, this demon son of mine! Pierson! Turn down that god-awful crap so I can hear myself talk!<\/p>\n
AMANDA grabs a book from her bookshelf, comes to a marked page.<\/i><\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Go jump in the pool or something! Just off with that noise! Pierson! I swear I\u2019ll come in there and toss the damn thing! Sheesh! I\u2019m back\u2026don\u2019t forget\u2026whatever you do\u2026have no kids and for the life of Brian , do not get married! Oh promise me\u2026when all about you are losing their minds\u2026you\u2019ll keep yours!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Still got the book\u2026listen..<\/p>\n
\u201cThey fuck you up, your mum and dad.<\/p>\n
They may not mean to, but they do.<\/p>\n
They fill you with the faults they had<\/p>\n
And add some extra, just for you.<\/p>\n
\u00a0But they were fucked up in their turn<\/p>\n
\u00a0By fools in old-style hats and coats,<\/p>\n
\u00a0Who half\u00a0 the time were soppy-stern<\/p>\n
\u00a0And half at one another’s throats.<\/p>\n
Man hands on misery to man.<\/p>\n
\u00a0It deepens like a coastal shelf.<\/p>\n
\u00a0Get out as early as you can,<\/p>\n
And don’t\u00a0 have any kids yourself.<\/i> \u201c<\/p>\n
The last is said in unison.<\/i><\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
\u201cAnd don\u2019t have any kids yourself!\u201d<\/p>\n
The share a laugh.<\/i><\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Ah\u2026dear, dear Phillip Larkin. This Be The Verse<\/i>. If only I could get you to believe him or me.\u00a0 You\u2019re already saddled with one terrible affliction\u2026having to write is enough of a burden for anybody. But at least it chose you\u2026you didn\u2019t choose it. Non-negotiable. Marriage is choice driven. I ought to steal all the Pro Life and Pro Choice propaganda and twist it: \u201cChoose Life Over Marriage.\u201d And \u201cChoice: You Have It If You Don\u2019t Say \u2018I Do.\u201d I\u2019m telling you,\u00a0 you do not want to get married. Pierson! This is the last time\u2026<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Bitter Jewish Woman.<\/p>\n
Mookie the cat comes into JOSEPHINE\u2019S eyesight.<\/i><\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
And take your demon spawn with you. Bitter Jewish Woman = Realist.<\/p>\n
SHE whispers into the phone.<\/i><\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I swear my cat is trying to kill me.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You\u2019re just looking for excuses to get rid of it.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You want it? You can have it\u2026but you have to take my demon child with it. Jesus Christ, Mary, Joseph, Solomon and Sadie.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
No thank you. Sadie? Who\u2019s Sadie?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
What do you know?\u00a0 I\u2019m a bigger Christian than you are and I\u2019m a Jew.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Well, I\u2019m a bigger Jew than you are since you practice diddly squat.\u00a0 And your brother\u2019s a rabbi. I know they must shake their heads behind your back\u2026wag their fingers. Shame shame.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Don\u2019t get me started on my favorite CHEWS.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
CHEWS\u2026you\u2019re funny.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think the cover\u2019s as bad as you think it is.\u00a0 It is a little abstract\u2026but that\u2019s not bad.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I told the fool Escher. Or Or Escher-like. They don\u2019t care if sell ten books\u2026in fact that\u2019s what\u2019ll probably happen.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
People love your writing, Josie.\u00a0 You know I do. Publisher\u2019s Weekly, Kirkus\u2026either great or favorable reviews.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Where are these people?!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Publisher\u2019s Weekly, Kirkus\u2026either great or favorable reviews of all your books\u2026all 5 of them.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Who reads those besides Industry Egg heads?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Me.\u00a0 I do.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You\u2019re in the industry, egghead.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You know you get like this whenever a book tour is up-coming or you have a speaking engagement or\u2026<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Or my boy child is growing more insane by the hour, I\u2019m so- called critically acclaimed yet my publisher wants to drop me and my boyfriend broke up with me.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Whoa! Wait a minute.\u00a0 I knew something was going on. When did that happen?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Two weeks ago.\u00a0 Ten minutes ago\u2026doesn\u2019t matter\u2026he\u2019s gone.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
And you didn\u2019t tell me?\u00a0 You weren\u2019t going to tell me?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I knew you were on deadline\u2026and nobody understands writers\u2019 deadlines but other writers.\u00a0 And you know you\u2026any excuse to get up from the writing table is all you need. A paper bag blowing down the street will have you going into rescue mode.\u00a0 And besides\u2026I\u2019m a big girl.\u00a0 I can handle it\u2026I called my therapist and asked her to add some Xanax to my mix. I\u2019ll be fine.\u00a0 I\u2019ve always told you pain pills were wasted on pain.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
But you\u2019re in pain.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
No I\u2019m not.\u00a0 He was a loser.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
I know.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
What do you mean you know\u2026you never met him.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Through you, silly,you told me\u2026you liked his..his..<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Miss Goody Two Shoes can\u2019t even say the word.\u00a0 Damn those Catholics did a number on you.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Methodists.\u00a0 Remember my parents just sent us to Catholic school.\u00a0 The Methodists got to me first\u2026but really, I don\u2019t know a single religion that promotes talking about the anatomy of the opposite sex.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Jews!\u00a0 What with circumcision tantamount to holding hands with God\u2026peni are all over the place.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Peni?\u00a0 That\u2019s great\u2026I\u2019ll have to use that one.\u00a0 Anyway you said he was good in the sack.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Nope.\u00a0 Great in the sack.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
So\u2026<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
What to do with those other 23 and \u00bd hours?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Sleep 8.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
10..So there\u2019s 13 \u00bd left.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Eat\u2026say 2.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
3\u2026so there\u2019s 10 \u00bd left.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Work 8.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
2 \u00bd left\u2026<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
That\u2019s nothing.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
A fucking eternity if you\u2019ve run out of stuff to say to one another. It was like talking to a load of bricks. He hated Jeopardy.\u00a0 Hated it.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
But you said he broke up with you.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
That\u2019s my MO\u2026I can\u2019t stand to hurt people\u2019s feelings. Anyway, that\u2019s that\u2026something about him though, boring but\u2026oh I don\u2019t know\u2026he also didn\u2019t read.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Couldn\u2019t or didn\u2019t.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Didn\u2019t\u2026I haven\u2019t gone all the way caveman yet. But look at Pierson\u2019s father\u2026reads all the time, a PhD and is an A # 1 hole with an ass.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
I\u2019m sorry, Josie.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You should be\u2026all that telling me to move my furniture around to attract love.\u00a0 And look where it got me.\u00a0 You and your cut-rate Feng Shoo ee.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Feng Shui.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Nah\u2026I believe you gave me Feng Shooo eee.\u00a0 I\u2019m kidding you. Don\u2019t be sorry, it\u2019s not your fault\u2026he\u2019s one in a long line of \u201cDamnit to hell what was I drinking?\u201d\u00a0 But\u2026now I don\u2019t have to march into the kitchen and act like I know what the hell I\u2019m doing.\u00a0 My cook is back and we\u2019re all happy now\u2026one big kind of happy family. No more boyfriends.\u00a0 No more husbands.\u00a0 I\u2019m free!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You need a break, Ms Feminist. Why don\u2019t you come here\u2026I was going to surprise you\u2026but I\u2019m working on a few things\u2026if they\u2026<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Which book?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
MARILYN STOPPARD\u2026that\u2019s the one you\u2019re touring next, right?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh, I thought it was COUGH. I want some press on that\u2026but It\u2019s with a different publishing house and wont be in stores until the fall damn it.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Well, if you come out here for MARILYN, meet some fans, make some new ones, meet Rick and Karen at Elliot Bay Books\u2026I mean I\u2019ll use all my contacts\u2026<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Hold on\u2026not so fast!\u00a0 It\u2019s COUGH I really want to concentrate on. I\u2019m telling you the publishers wash their hands of me soon as they print\u00a0 damn thing\u2026that\u2019s the final gallies that I sent you by the way..I know you\u2019re keeping all those unedited versions.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Thank you. I know you\u2019re anxious\u2026and we\u2019ll get to that\u2026if you let me sell MARILYN STOPPARD to my Seattle folks. I love that book\u2026I\u2019m sure I\u2019ll love (she coughs) COUGH too. Which might I remind you\u2026I just received so haven\u2019t had a chance to even thumb through it\u2026but I can start talking it up.\u00a0 Why? Because look who wrote it! (coughs).<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Very funny.\u00a0 (she coughs too). \u00a0 Oh, I thought I\u2019d already sent you my dear COUGH\u2019S galleys.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
No\u2026you said you would\u2026or have the publisher send it..just\u00a0 never got around to it\u2026maybe it was during Pierson\u2019s school crisis.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Ha! Which one? I don\u2019t know what to do with that little bastard. I\u2019m fucking tearing my hair out. And the shit he has for a father is a waste of tissue and bone.\u00a0 He\u2019s gonna die when he reads COUGH\u2026fucking die\u2026him and his sleaze bag mama.\u00a0 Ooh baby! Ooooooh baby!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Wow\u2026you really hate that guy.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Um huh. And that cesspool who gave him life.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
It\u2019s doing you more harm that it is them.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
A price I\u2019ll gladly pay.\u00a0 They made my life a living hell!\u00a0 My turn! There it is for all the world to see.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
I know.\u00a0 I know.\u00a0 But it\u2019s time to let it go.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You\u2019re an innocent. A protected little innocent. You don\u2019t know shit about the real world. Those people nearly sucked the marrow out of my bones..I can\u2019t forget what they took from me. I\u2019m not about to forget.\u00a0 And meanwhile he\u2019s at Xavier\u2026writing God-awful books about black people,your people for crying out loud\u2026teaching African American literature and he spits shit from sun up to sundown in the privacy of his privacy\u2026you haven\u2019t seen a bigger racist than that clown\u2026 that entire clan. Evil people. Evil.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Is that clan with a \u201cC\u201d or clan with a \u201cKKK\u201d?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Same thing in that family. Same thing.\u00a0 Ah, now they get to reap what they\u2019ve sown. And Fuck you, Thomas Wolfe, I am going home\u00a0 again\u2026one more time to that place \u2026holy shit! \u00a0 Something\u2019s burning\u2026Pierson!\u00a0 I got to go\u2026when you finish reading, let me know, okay. Boy! I know you hear me! And Amanda, I want you to know I heard your feminist crack.\u00a0 Thing about us older feminists is that we really know how to bring home the bacon fry it up in the pan\u2026Pierson!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
\u00a0AMANDA tries to talk over the yelling.\u00a0 <\/i>Okay\u2026got you. Hey, I\u2019m not going to be able to get to it right away though\u2026deadlines for the manuscript and a new play.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I\u2019ll be waiting with fish baited breath. Gotta run. Pierson! Pierson! Murder remains my option! Pierson!\u00a0 Answer me!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Josie? I\u2019m not going to be able to get \u2026Josie?<\/p>\n
AMANDA hangs up when she realizes JOSEPHINE is gone.<\/i><\/p>\n
Lights go down on the scene.<\/i><\/p>\n
ACT I<\/p>\n
Scene 2<\/p>\n
Scene<\/i><\/p>\n
AMANDA is on phone with Seattle librarian NPR regular and author, Nancy Pearl.<\/i><\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Hello.<\/p>\n
NANCY PEARL<\/b><\/p>\n
Hello, this is Nancy Pearl looking for Amanda Brown.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh,\u00a0 Ms. Nancy Pearl, thank you so much for getting back to me.\u00a0 I told you in my letter how much I love your show. I haven\u2019t had a chance to read even half of your recommendations\u2026 but they are on my lust list.<\/p>\n
NANCY PEARL<\/b><\/p>\n
So you\u2019ve read my Book Lust sounds like. And please call me Nancy.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Indeed I\u2019ve read it\u2026marked it up.\u00a0 You\u2019re so naughty with that title: Book Lust\u2026I love it. Have you had a chance to read Josephine Cohen\u2019s book, MARILYN STOPPARD yet?<\/p>\n
NANCY PEARL<\/b><\/p>\n
I\u2019ve got to tell you,you are one persistent PR marketer.\u00a0 Your author friend is lucky to have you working on her \u00a0 \u00a0 behalf\u2026and my apologies to you for taking so long to get back to you.\u00a0 It\u2019s just that with all..<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh, that\u2019s okay, I understand.\u00a0 I\u2019m just grateful you took a look at her work.\u00a0 So\u2026what do you think?\u00a0 I\u2019m holding my breath\u2026crossing my fingers, toes, eyes\u2026are you going to review it on your\u00a0 KUOW show?<\/p>\n
NANCY PEARL<\/b><\/p>\n
She\u2019s a very skillful writer\u2026no doubt about that\u2026It\u2019s just that this is not my usual cup of tea.\u00a0 An unreliable narrator has to be my least favorite protagonist in the entire world of literature.\u00a0 However, you have been so patient with me, and so\u2026so\u2026tenderly persistent in nudging me to read it\u2026and I did find the story fascinating\u2026if annoying\u2026so yes, I will review it.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh my goodness!\u00a0 Thank you, Nancy Pearl!\u00a0 Thank you!<\/p>\n
NANCY PEARL<\/b><\/p>\n
No, thank you\u2026I\u2019ll probably have it on my KUOW program In about a month or so.\u00a0 I\u2019ll email you with the exact date and time.\u00a0 Bye for now.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Okay, good bye and thank you again. (AMANDA hangs up the phone, jumps in the air and yelps.) <\/i>Up next..the Seattle Book Festival\u2026Now if I can just get her\u00a0 to agree to it she could come for a visit!<\/p>\n
Lights out on scene.<\/i><\/p>\n
ACT I<\/p>\n
Scene 3<\/p>\n
Lights up on each residence. AMANDA AND JOSEPHINE are speaking with one on the telephone. AMANDA is in the tub.<\/i><\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You sound down. Are you sure you\u2019re not missing Mr. Haven\u2019t Read A Book Since Seventh Grade?\u00a0 I\u2019m telling you this Pacific Northwest air ought to be bottled and sold. It\u2019ll cure whatever ails you.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You\u2019re such a traitor.\u00a0 Everything\u2019s the Pacific Northwest\u2026And why can\u2019t you just say the northwest or Tacoma\u2026it\u2019s so\u2026so Northwest Passagey\u2026the Pacific Northwest.\u00a0 Do you go on salmon bakes? Run into Lewis and Clark often?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
That\u2019s the Oregon Trail and it\u2019s Sa mon silly…<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I\u2019ll bet you didn\u2019t grow up eating Samon cakes..you ate SaLmon cakes just like everybody else here in Louisiana<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Talking about good too\u2026from the can\u2026at least that\u2019s how I remember it\u2026being good.I don\u2019t think I had had a fresh samon until I came here the first go round. Kinda crazy because we had every kind of fresh Calcasieu River and Gulf of Mexico seafood, at our house\u2026you name it, oysters, shrimp, catfish, perch, bass, snapper, trout, crabs\u2026fresh as they want to be\u2026but I still loved me some salmoncakes made from the can.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I\u2019d forgotten you were not new to the Pacific Northwest.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
It\u2019s been so long, it feels new.\u00a0 You ought to come on out, I\u2019m telling you\u2026I went ahead and sent a copy of your MARILYN STOPPARD to our local NPR station.<\/p>\n
A librarian does reviews every week and\u00a0 drum roll please.I She jumped at the chance to review MARILYN STOPPARD!<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I wish you were handling all the PR and marketing\u2026these New York Bozos wouldn\u2019t know a well-designed tour from a box of hair\u2026still I have to kiss their asses if I want any little bit of exposure for MARILYN STOPPARD or for COUGH,<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Which brings me to my next question..so, say I was able to line up an event or two here, would you come?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
To the Evergreen State?\u00a0 Leave my precious City That Care forgot for some granola sprouting, coffee drunk\u00a0 tree kissing mountain worshippers?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Yes! Yes! It\u2019s amazing, the streets are clean here! There\u2019s no trash on the street.. Litter Bugs have gone the way of what\u2026.the typewriter\u2026the phone book\u2026they\u2019re extinct.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
So we have some what you call litter. What\u2019s wrong with a little litter?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
It is litter\u2026and New Orleans doesn\u2019t have just some! It has tons!\u00a0 A veritable plethora.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Veritable plethora my keyhole! That so called litter is how we calculate the success of Mardi Gras\u2026we know by the tonnage how much the city profited and how many suddenly crazed Iowans or your vaunted Pacific Northwesterners dotted our landscape with their litter.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You do a crafty job of distracting and deflecting.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
None better.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
I just think it would do your heart some good\u2026get away from Pierson\u2026<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
He falls hard when I\u2019m gone\u2026I \u2018d be flying over Missouri and get a message to come home because he\u2019s done some outrageous something to somebody.\u00a0 And you know I do not travel well under the best circumstances.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
But you hired me to help you market your book!\u00a0 Readers want to meet the author.\u00a0 Plain and simple.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
It\u2019s so unfair. First I have write the damn thing then schlep all over the country hoping and praying somebody will show up at my reading\u2026 Do you see clothes designers going from city to city meeting their constituencies?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Uh huh\u2026I do..runway shows.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Not your average, run of the mill hourly wage worker like me you don\u2019t.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
So now you do piece meal work\u2026you\u2019re a day laborer?<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Yep.\u00a0 After all these years\u2026where do I end up..as a mid-list writer\u2026Authors who consistently publish acceptable but not bestselling books are referred to as Midlist authors<\/i>.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Well, the strength of your writing more than guarantees that you\u2019ll keep being published.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Am I supposed to take comfort in that? You\u2019re the only writer I know who does not want to be famous.\u00a0 And I have to tell l you until I got to know you I thought you were lying.\u00a0 I mean \u201cDouble Bubble, toil and trouble\u2026\u00a0 What writer wants to labor in the trenches in the unknown trenches of obscurity and dereliction for time immemorial?\u00a0 Besides you I mean? Why you\u2019re slumming it is beyond me\u2026you have more writing talent and moxie than half of those well-known hacks you escort around town.\u00a0 And just how\u2019s the escort business, by the way?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Loving it.\u00a0 We were made for one another.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Ever wonder what your mama and daddy would have thought of your job?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
That their daughter is an escort?\u00a0 Oh, they\u2019d have been asked to be brought to the cemetery and buried alive.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
My mother would have asked me if I worked as an escort\u00a0 for blind and feeble men.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Once they knew it was all about the book\u2026and not sex then it would have been fine. I\u2019d always have to say Literary Escort every time. Sex, especially illicit sex is not funny to black teacher Methodist parents. There is no joke there.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Yes, yes..I guess so\u2026anybody interesting lately?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
All the time\u2026that\u2019s why I love it, I never know what the personality of the author is going t o be. Until I get to the airport\u2026I can almost tell from looking them over at baggage before they see me\u2026I can almost tell if I\u2019ve got a nut, a loner, a perv, a looney (and there is a difference between nut and loony) or a potential friend. And that photo on the jacket cover may as well be of a kangaroo cuz it generally looks nothing like the real person. Man I\u2019ve had some doozies\u2026but mostly really cool people. The owners give all the WooWoo, as you call them, authors to me\u2026and the CookBooks, and the truly literary ones\u2026cuz I\u2019ve requested them\u2026the over the top famous, they usually keep for themselves..I did have Margaret Cho once\u2026that was fun and easy\u2026all I did was ride around in her chauffeur-driven Town Car escorting her up to her appointments.\u00a0 Usually it\u2019s just me and the author and my Honda\u2026off to the radio station, the tv station, the newspaper\u2026drop them off at the their hotel, then pick them up in the evening for Elliot Bay. They\u2019re generally spent by the evening, but they come alive in front of the crowds\u2026and you will too<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Hey I\u2019m jealous\u2026you\u2019ve made so many writer friends since you\u2019ve been escorting\u2026all your famous friends now you\u2019re going to forget about your poor little mid-lister writer friend me.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Never.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You know my Chews take that word very seriously\u2026<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
I know.\u00a0 Wish my people had the same kind of refrain for\u00a0 us\u2026God knows we have to keep the thing uppermost in our minds\u2026thing is some people do not want to be reminded.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
We don\u2019t have that problem\u2026we tell anybody who\u2019ll listen..or even if they don\u2019t want to\u2026it\u2019s our mission statement. Comes with birth certificate:\u00a0 \u201cNever again.\u201d Yeah, I\u2019m kidding\u2026but in a way\u2026I\u2019m not\u2026we know from birth\u2026maybe it\u2019s in the tittie\u2026I do not know\u2026but it\u2019s in us.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Maybe I can start one for us\u2026it\u2019s never too late\u2026maybe that could be it: It\u2019s never too late.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Ehhhh\u2026too namby pamby\u2026sounds like the boat already sailed\u2026<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
I know you just didn\u2019t say \u201cboat\u201d and \u201csailed.\u201d<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Sorry\u2026but you need something declarative\u00a0 \u201cNever again\u201d\u00a0 means something.\u00a0 We\u2019ll kick the living shit out of you or shoot you into tomorrow..but we\u2019re not doing a next time.\u00a0 Entebbe ring a bell?<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Well look at you\u2026all animated and stuff about Jewry.\u00a0 You of all people.\u00a0 Well I never dreamed\u2026I thought you didn\u2019t identify.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I don\u2019t but look at me\u2026I don\u2019t have to identify somebody would do it for me\u2026it\u2019s written all over my face.and besides\u2026I do not do well in crowds or death marches\u2026so. . . \u201cNever Again.\u201d Sign me up.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
How about I sign you up for the Seattle Book Festival\u2026it\u2019s huge, Josephine\u2026I got you in!.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh no!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Oh no!\u00a0 What do you mean, Oh no!<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
\u00a0I keep telling you I\u2019m the world\u2019s worst traveler.\u00a0 All those crying babies and people\u2019s flesh falling over me on the seat next to me\u2026an unholy germ box\u00a0 floating across the sky.\u00a0 I don\u2019t know\u2026I can\u2019t see it\u2026nobody\u2019s going to show up for my book anyway.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
They will show up and you\u2019ll show up\u2026You\u2019re also on a panel.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Jesus Fucking Christ are you mad, woman?! A panel? Me on a panel?\u00a0 Without an oxygen mask?\u00a0 There\u2019s not enough valium in the world.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You told me you wanted exposure.\u00a0 MARILYN STOPPARD is a brilliant book\u2026you, it deserve exposure\u2026The Seattle International Book Festival will guarantee you that.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I can\u2019t do this. I\u2019m a wreck.\u00a0 Can\u2019t you tell? I\u2019m a wreck.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You just need to believe in yourself.\u00a0 Breathe deeply\u2026I keep telling you to try yoga or Tai Chi<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
I keep telling you to go fly a kite.\u00a0 I ride my exercise bike to stay in shape. Keep the fat at bay.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
That\u2019s your body\u2026I\u2019m talking about a mind\/body connection.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
WoooWooooowooooWooooo\u2026that damn Northwest has really gotten to you\u2026and here I thought California was WimpTown.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
What chu talking \u2018bout, Willis?\u00a0 You\u2019re the wimp\u2026Can\u2019t even accept a \u201cyes\u201d when people are telling you they like your work and are inviting you to\u00a0 participate.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Must be some sort of catch.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
A little one. It\u2019s in 2 weeks.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Holy shit!<\/p>\n
Lights down.<\/i><\/p>\n
ACT I<\/p>\n
Scene 4<\/p>\n
Lights up on AMANDA\u2019S residence.\u00a0 AMANDA is dancing to some old school Motown. Singing her heart out.\u00a0 SHE does not hear the phone ring.<\/i><\/p>\n
Lights up on JOSEPHINE\u2019S residence. JOSEPHINE is on pedaling her stationary bike.\u00a0 SHE has a cast on her left arm. It is awkward for her to maneuver much.<\/i><\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Damn.\u00a0 Answer the phone, Amanda. The music stops.\u00a0 AMANDA answers the phone out of breath.<\/i><\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Hello, Amanda speaking.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
Great.\u00a0 I thought you were gone. You sound like you\u2019ve been having sex.<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
You sound like you wish you\u2019d been. You\u2019re obsessed you really should see someone.<\/p>\n
JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n
You\u2019re the one with pimples.\u00a0 You\u2019re the one with \u2018want some\u2019 bumps on her face\u2026not me!<\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Remind me to not tell you anything again, okay?\u00a0 Jeez. You\u2019re Just like a man; sex on your brain 24\/7\u2026you\u2019re quite abnormal.\u00a0 Look, glad you called.\u00a0 Hold on\u2026I have all your arrangements for the festival. Hold on.<\/p>\n
AMANDA puts down the phone and gets her notebook.<\/i><\/p>\n
AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n
Okay, you come in Wednesday, the 27th<\/sup>\u2026I can email you all of this, but I want to tell you, I\u2019m sooo excited\u2026okay you get in Wednesday at 2:55..we\u2019ll just miss the I-5 parking lot.\u00a0 Thursday I\u2019ve arranged for you to do a signing here in Tacoma at Borders and the Library is partnering with UW and you\u2019ll do one there as well.\u00a0 Then Friday morning we\u2019ll drive to Seattle for the Festival\u2026<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n Amanda\u2026<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Hold on\u2026here\u2019s the kicker\u2026you\u2019re going to be on the platform with Barry Lopez and David Long, he\u2019s a local fiction author, very good, you\u2019ll like him\u2026he had a story published in The New Yorker which is a very big deal to a lot of folks. He\u2019s like you way underrated.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n At least he\u2019s fiction..what\u2019s Barry Lopez doing in there?<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Beats me\u2026something about the environment that didn\u2019t make a whole lot of sense to me\u2026like each of you has aspects of the environment in your books that is central to the character\u2026some gobbledeegook like that. He\u2019s kinda a god-like figure in these here parts.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n Amanda, I broke my elbow.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Your what?\u00a0 Your elbow?\u00a0 Ouch\u2026how\u2019d you do that?<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n Three guesses and the first two don\u2019t count.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Pierson.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n I think he was trying to hit me.\u00a0 So I reached back, overextended and with a force I didn\u2019t know I had hit the wall.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n So now he\u2019s trying to hit you? You\u2019d better be careful<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n Now you tell me.\u00a0 He\u2019s with his father for a few days\u2026we need<\/p>\n a cooling off period.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Well good, this trip couldn\u2019t have happened at a better time.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n That\u2019s why I\u2019m calling\u2026I don\u2019t think I should come now.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n They\u2019ve already bought your ticket, Josephine.\u00a0 All the materials are printed\u2026with your name on them\u2026all these interviews I\u2019ve set up\u2026the readings\u2026<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n I know.\u00a0 I\u2019m going to pay you for all your hard work.\u00a0 I don\u2019t think I should fly with my infirmity.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Says who?<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n You\u2019re making this too hard, Amanda.\u00a0 Pierson needs me.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n He does not.\u00a0 He can stay with his daddy or your sister. Or his sister, Wren.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n God help us all.\u00a0 My sister needs somebody to watch her.\u00a0 No thank you. And Wren\u2026she\u2019s taking my \u2018Do as I do not as I say\u2019 class\u2026and being quite the model student.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Give me more.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n She\u2019s leap-frogged over about half a dozen perfectly good and sane men to hitch her wagon to a certified nut.\u00a0 I can\u2019t leave my boy child in a situation I\u2019m trying to get her out of. I just see this as a sign.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Oh so now you\u2019re going all WoooWooo all of a sudden.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n Well, I do have my health to consider\u2026There\u2019s no spring in this chicken. I do not think it\u2019s good to fly with broken limbs.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n It\u2019s not\u2026not in the first 48 hours, Josephine.\u00a0 You have five whole days until flight time.\u00a0 You cannot do this to me.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n I\u2019ll bet you haven\u2019t even read COUGH yet have you? I know because all the attention has gone to MARILYN STOPPARD \u2026 And before you start, I\u2019m not criticizing you..but COUGH is my Magnum opus, that\u2019s the book that\u2019s got my heart in it\u2026I don\u2019t ever have to write another book, Amanda\u2026that\u2019s the one that I need and want you to market, okay? I can wait until next time or when you can market that one.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n I\u2019m feeling a little blackmailed, you know. And it does not feel good. Did you even have any intention of coming?<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n So now you\u2019re doubting my elbow\u2019s even sick? You\u2019ll eat crow shit when I step off the plane\u2026just you watch\u2026I\u2019ll have it all warmed up for you.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Wait? So now you\u2019re coming?! Josephine!<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n I do not want to come\u2026I have a broken elbow\u2026my family is going straight down the tubes with me in the lead, but\u2026what the hell\u2026I don\u2019t want a bunch of crazed Scandinavians going after you\u2026who might kill you with a butter knife or a pot luck dish.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Ha ha. You can\u2019t believe everything you hear from Garrison Keillor, you know.\u00a0 Well, I hear you about the family and I Appreciate that you\u2019re coming. This will help you, I believe.\u00a0 And you\u2019re right, I have not yet read COUGH.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n So will you promise me…<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n guess I could promote it at the same time\u2026<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n That\u2019s my girl! You could be promoting it at the same time.\u00a0 So you promise me you\u2019ll read it and I\u2019ll promise you this old, poor, decrepit, uni arm, writer will come to Pleasantville. Deal?<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Deal.\u00a0 (THEY hang up the phone.\u00a0 AMANDA takes a deep breath, looks around for COUGH\u2026makes a comfy chair\u2026pours some water and begins to read.\u00a0 Her face goes from placid, to questioning, to puzzlement to disbelief as she begins to quickly turn pages.\u00a0 She puts the book in her lap\u2026clasps her hands\u2026looks around the room with brow furrowed\u2026stands up, the book falls, she doesn\u2019t notice..she goes to the window, opens it, takes a deep breath, shakes her head, goes back to the book, thumbs through it for confirmation. Drops it. All the while shaking her head.<\/i>)\u00a0 Oh my god.<\/p>\n End of ACT I<\/p>\n ACT II<\/p>\n Scene:1<\/p>\n Lights up on JOSEPHINE\u2019S and AMANDA\u2019S places.\u00a0 THEY are talking on the phone.<\/i><\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n And guess what, before I board the plane to \u201cWhere have all the freaking car horns gone,\u201d Maple Street Bookstore is\u00a0 having me do a reading\u2026yes, that\u2019s right\u2026the uppity snits of the local Smith Alumni chapter have finally decided I\u2019m alive after all and actually do live and write books in New Orleans so they want to honor me for some strange reason after all these years of active ignoring…maybe I\u2019m going to die on the plane.\u00a0 I\u2019ve sent them enough money over the years to endow my own chair\u2026it\u2019s about time they do something on my behalf. Hold on a minute. (SHE puts down the phone and lets out a whale of a wail. Takes a deep breath, shakes It off goes back to phone.)\u00a0 <\/i>With my little juvenile delinquent gone it\u2019s waaay too quiet in here. Eerily so.I\u2019m trying to do a gazillion things before getting on that casket in the sky. Including making sure my boy is okay.\u00a0 He said he hates me so I know he\u2019s fine. Told him I hate him more.\u00a0 And was going to make him stay with his\u00a0 daddy while I was gone to prove it.\u00a0 (AMANDA laughs a very small, almost inaudible laugh\u2026might even be considered a grunt.) <\/i>Are you okay? You\u2019ve hardly said a word. What\u2019s going on with you? Do I need to hurry there with a can of whup ass and kick\u00a0 some lumberjack butt? You\u2019re not sick are you?\u00a0 All that rain and lack of sun is DE pressing I keep telling you. I think I will do an intervention when I\u2019m there and kidnap you\u2026 bring you home. You\u2019re not sick are you? Oh no!\u00a0 Don\u2019t tell me your used to be is making moves?<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Nope, I\u2019m okay. Not sick. I\u2019m okay.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n Nah\u2026you\u2019re doing that Prarie Home Companion \u00a0 Scandinavian thing Keillor\u2019s always talking about\u2026say one thing mean the total and complete opposite: \u201cHow\u2019s the Roast beef, Inge?\u201d \u201cOH, it\u2019s tasty, Lars, your cooking is right up there with Julia Child,\u201d and then spits it out the first chance she gets and tells all her friends she thought she might die.\u00a0 What\u2019s going on with you? We\u2019ve got to figure that out so that we can get to the heart of the matte, the real reason I called; see if you kept your promise and find out how you liked my book.<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n That\u2019s what\u2019s wrong with me.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n What\u2019s wrong with you?<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n That.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n That what? Jeez Amanda, give me a break\u2026what is wrong with you?<\/p>\n (AMANDA is trying to hold it together.) <\/i>Amanda.\u00a0 Are you still there? What\u2019s going on?<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n The book.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n My book?\u00a0 COUGH?<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n Yes.<\/p>\n JOSEPHINE<\/b><\/p>\n What, you didn\u2019t like it? Oh shit\u2026didn\u2019t see this coming.(No response from AMANDA). <\/i>Amanda, it\u2019s okay\u2026 you don\u2019t have to like everything I write\u2026you\u2019re my friend\u2026just tell me you didn\u2019t like it\u2026<\/p>\n AMANDA<\/b><\/p>\n It\u2019s worse than that Josephine\u2026it\u2019s way, way worse than that.<\/p>\n Lights down on scene.<\/i><\/p>\n ACT II<\/p>\n Scene 2<\/p>\n AMANDA is in her bedroom fixing her hair in a mirror. SHE speaks to herself.<\/i><\/p>\n AMANDA<\/p>\n What white folks need is a holiday\u2026just like in Toni Morrison\u2019s book Sula.\u00a0 Well, not exactly like in Sula\u2026but kinda like in Sula. Reminiscent of Sula.\u00a0 (SHE grabs Sula from her bookshelf and thumbs through it.)\u00a0 <\/i>Ahh\u2026Toni Morrison\u2026I do love you. Here it is\u2026National Suicide day\u2026\u201dOn the third day of the new year, he walked through the Bottom down Carpenter\u2019s Road with a cowbell and a hangman\u2019s rope calling the people together.\u00a0 Telling them that this was their only chance to kill themselves or each other.\u201d\u00a0 (AMANDA dials her phone)\u00a0 <\/i>Hey JC,\u00a0 what\u2019re you doing, you got a minute? Okay, good, listen to this\u2026you know how much I love me some Toni Morrison\u2026well, I remembered the scene in SULA when Shadrack chartered National Suicide Day…well, I\u2019m thinking that that\u2019s what white people need.\u00a0 No\u2026silly, not a Suicide Day\u2026a National Day of Saying \u201cNigger.\u201d\u00a0 No I\u2019m not kidding. It would be just one day when they get to swing open their doors, yell from the roof tops\u2026yeah yeah . . . yeah! Exactly!\u00a0 Like Peter Finch in NETWORK! Just yell it from the top of their lungs\u2026from all the secret places it\u2019s hidden\u2026in folds of their hearts, the creases of their lower intestines, the crevices between their toes\u2026get in there and drag that bad boy out into daylight one night a year\u2026I know. I know\u2026some will claim they have never said that word, that it wasn\u2019t allowed in their house\u2026and they could never utter such a nasty, vile, reprehensible utterance.\u00a0 Balderdash! It\u2019s every white person\u2019s not so secret weapon\u2026and time and time again some lunatic reminds us that it\u2019s sitting here (she sticks her \u00a0 tongue out and points to its rear)\u2026on the back of some tongues, to be, sure\u2026but I believe if you look carefully in all the nooks and crannies, it\u2019s there, ready to strike. So let\u2019s give them a state-sanctioned platform.\u00a0 You want it?\u00a0 Well, baby you\u2019ve got it! One day a year!!!!<\/p>\n Lights down on scene.<\/i><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES by C. Rosalind Bell Setting: The play takes place in two locales in: Tacoma, Washington and New Orleans.The stage is split down the middle representing either city. Characters: Josephine Cohen: 45-55 yr old Southern Jewish American author of mid-list fiction. Tightly wound, acerbic, big hair (70s style), small physical frame, allergic to …<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"parent":68,"menu_order":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","template":"","meta":{"footnotes":""},"class_list":["post-76","page","type-page","status-publish","hentry"],"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/76","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/types\/page"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fcomments&post=76"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/76\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":78,"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/76\/revisions\/78"}],"up":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=\/wp\/v2\/pages\/68"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.crosalindbell.net\/blog\/index.php?rest_route=%2Fwp%2Fv2%2Fmedia&parent=76"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}